she is life and everything that's good about it.


indie Marvel / MCU OC
semi-selective ;
multiverse ;
multiship ;

written by sydney.

steve.

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   Steve had his reservations about Lillian, only in that she seemed more suited to healing than destruction. He’d heard about her work, and seen her enough in passing, but hadn’t seen her fight. Not one-on-one, in a situation where lives depended on their synergy. The mention of how intelligent Ultron was only made Steve scoff, more of a laugh than a disregard of her thoughts.

   “He’s relied on humanity every step of the way, Lillian. People gave him his body, Stark gave him the thoughts, all of it.” There was a pause as he looked her over, as if to further assess her. “The guy can’t be all that smart if he’s out to fight us, either.” Steve couldn’t see this supposed cleverness. All he saw was a series of metal slats, formed into a parody of Stark’s thought process. Worse, of course, without the inhibition and the consideration for life.

   There was no intelligence in cruelty. The concept of elimination as the only way to evolve a species stuck in Steve’s throat, too similar to past conflicts. “You’ll be good; you fight, you do your best, and you keep on the comms with us. That’s all I ask.”

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What he said made sense, really. She stared at him with big, confused eyes, nodding to his every word. Yes, Ultron was probably not so intelligent, after all. He was just very lucky. And he had received a lot of indirect help. This was very new to her - computers, technology… mass-murdering robots with a god complex. She was lost, for the first time in her life.

She was taken out of her thoughts again when he told her she’d be good. She straightened her back and nodded firmly. ❝ Yes sir. ❞ She could follow orders. It was already a starting point. ❝ I will do my best. No time for hesitation and for… self-pity. ❞ Another nod followed by a small, assured rictus.

steve.

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   The entity known as Ultron had been spawned out of Stark, so a wound to the ego would be the truest strike. There was going to be a mounted attack, large weaponry, larger threats, and all that set Steve on edge. Hehoped that wherever he’d settled as a base would be distant from any civilians. It seemed unlikely, given how dedicated he seemed to the concept of forced evolution.

   “Some are turned into machines in the pursuit of power. They can’t afford to feel pain, because that can end up as weakness.” Steve paused, a shake of his head enough to dismiss the train of thought. “I’d say we have a chance. More than a chance. He’s arrogant, and self-serving. That should be enough to blind him to the threat he’s faced with.” He offered a smile, though it felt strange framed by his words. He assured her they could murder someone, as if that should make her feel better.

   “You been in the field yet?”

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Were they strong enough to fight such a menace? She was usually positive and idealistic, but right now, she didn’t know anymore. She’d been here for only a year. She had been impressed by how strong and dedicated her colleagues were, but this fight wouldn’t be about passion anymore. It would only be about survival.

❝ But he is so… intelligent. ❞ It was still a mystery to her ; how a machine could produce such advanced thoughts, such schemes. As Steve said, technology had allowed AIs to think by themselves - or almost. How could a mere human beat a thinking machine? Still, his smile was contagious. She couldn’t help but smile a little as well. She had read comics about him when she was a child. Heard stories of his selflessness and his courage. If he was assuring her they had a chance, then she would believe it.

His next question surprised him a little. ❝ You mean, since I joined the Avengers? ❞ She tilted her head. ❝ I have. Well- small missions. Nothing this… big. ❞ She sighed softly, finally parting her hands, and wrapping her arms around her stomach. ❝ But we’ll be okay. I can’t- I need to be here and to help you and the others as much as I can. It is my duty. To serve and… to protect. ❞

steve.

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   Call it a bad habit, but Steve liked to know who he worked with. It begun with the issues that arose within SHIELD, where goodness was assured in a name; there was a difference between respect earned from actions, and respect demanded out of prestige. He liked to get the picture for himself, on as many levels and angles as he could ascertain. This included his coworkers, perhaps to a fault.

   A nervous tick, hands wound and unwound, set his mind on the way his mother would do the same when she worried. He kept his attention on her face, hands set behind his back. “No doubt – the way technology has shifted in the past century alone is enough to disconcert even those who lived through the change. Add to that the fact technology can uh, tell you what it thinks of that advancement is… It’s weird, not gonna lie.

   It was foolhardy to think that humanity was above any other life form, whether it was the environment, other species, and perhaps even AI. “I think anything that can process loss can feel pain. I doubt some people I’ve met have ever known pain.”

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His answer didn’t exactly help. She lifted her eyes again, fingers still entwined together. ❝ Oh. ❞ she licked her lower lip, seemingly still a bit pensive. So JARVIS had suffered, and Ultron… he could feel pain, too. Maybe it wasn’t physical pain. Maybe it was emotional one. She couldn’t say. Her domain of expertise was only organic beings. It all sounded so silly. She would’ve asked Tony about it earlier, but she wasn’t sure he would even take her seriously.

❝ I think everyone knows pain, in a way. ❞ She pondered. She never dared calling herself a soldier. Back then, back during the 70s, she was just… a nurse. She had seen her share of horrors - but she imagined those who spent their entire life on the battlefield have had it much worse. ❝ Even… Even if they don’t show it. ❞

❝ What do you think is going to happen next? Do we have a… single chance at beating him? ❞

mrapplepie:

@lxfegiver

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   There was an uncertainty to Steve that wasn’t seen on the field. It wasn’t clumsiness, or fear, merely caution. He ensured his steps were loud enough to catch the woman’s ear, enough for her to be alerted of his presence. “Lilian?” While she was a newer member, the newest, her thoughts mattered. He hadn’t heard much of hers during the discussion of how to handle the attack staged by Ultron, or how they would proceed.

   “Just wanted to check in – see what you thought about all this.”

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Hearing the steps behind her, Lillian turned her heels only to find herself facing Steve. Him asking checking up on her didn’t surprise her, he was… always polite. Kind, to her. It was in his nature, she supposed. But the truth was, Ultron scared her. What had moved her the most was… what he did to JARVIS. It felt like he had killed him, gutted him, despite him being… just an AI. It seemed stupid, but it was what plagued her thoughts at night.

            ❝ ah- Steve. I- I’m not sure what to think. ❞

She replied, entwining her fingers together in a nervous manner. ❝ This is all very disconcerting. ❞ She stared down at the floor, seemingly lost in her thoughts for a few seconds. ❝ Do you think machines can feel pain? ❞